Why I messaged him, By Hauwa Jidita
AREWA AGENDA – It is unclear why I messaged him. But that singular message would later change my life. Truly, what’s meant to be, will be.
While scrolling on Facebook, I stumbled on a post in a group. A guy was praising a man for his achievements and lamenting why he isn’t part of the group. It was interesting how he’s so interested in politics and Nigeria.
I was curious to know more about him. So, I searched for his name, and there, I found him. He’s a journalist! He had a black-and-white portrait of himself. “He’s a fine-looking man, he must be Fulani, I guessed.
He had his views on politics stuff. Some of his posts were religious, and that attracted me to him. I wanted to know more about him, not because I had a crush on him, but because I admire writers.
After about two days of pondering, I finally messaged him. I introduced myself and how I got to know him. He felt honored, he introduced himself as well. I got to know some things about him. What was surprising was that he is not Fulani as I earlier thought, no he isn’t. He’s Marghi. It was hard to believe when he told me.
I went back to his profile and stared at his picture. He had small eyes like those of Chinese, a little pointed nose, which seem a bit lopsided, fat lips, and the part I love most, ‘chubby cheeks’ Masha Allah! I exclaimed.
I had never chatted with anyone as I did with him. He seemed so calm and humble. I could tell from his words. We talked about a few things, particularly “marriage failures.” ‘He told me to write a piece on it to educate others since I know much about the topic. Though I don’t know as much as he thoughts.
“I used to write, but now I don’t. I’ve lost my writing skills.” After all, who would listen to a 19year old girl? I told him.
He encouraged me. He did. Our chat ended that day with me promising him that I’ll try to write something on it.
Days passed, and I did not hear from him. I always see him online but he never chatted me up. I felt bad. “Maybe I talked too much during our conversation, or maybe he thinks that I’m indecent.” Because there’s this stereotype of Lagosians in the North.
I would always come online just to see if he had messaged me, sometimes in the middle of the night, which made me question who he is to me. I got angry at him. “Why won’t he message me?
Just then, something struck me. He is married! Yes, he sure looks married. That must be it! That must be the reason why he hadn’t messaged me. For some minutes, I felt stupid. I had engaged in a conversation with someone I do not know anything about who is a northerner, and married!
I have had numerous conversations with northern guys, and before I know it, they’ll profess their “love” telling me they want to marry me! I mean, who does that? I think, for them, if a girl is having a conversation with a guy, then she likes him. That’s their perception. But this man isn’t like that, not like I’m defending him but I just know it.
He’s not the type. He even laughed it o
when I told him of my experience with northern men. ” He must have felt uncomfortable while we were chatting, and thinks I’m indecent,” I thought, as I fed the cats.
“Oh, that’s awful!” My body trembled for a while like I had seen a ghost. I was not sure what to think about, and I don’t know why I was thinking about it. Somehow, I managed to put myself together. I lay on my bed, took my phone, and went on Facebook. I went to his timeline, scrolling through his post.
I was not sure what I was looking for. While scrolling, I stopped at a post, and the first sentence caught my eye. It reads ” I don’t know what looks marital in me”.
Really! I exclaimed.
I read the post, and I got to know that people mistook him for a married man with kids. I was surprised but more excited. It was like he was referring to me, except for the kids’ part. It dawned on me that he is not married after all.
“Even if he’s not married, he might be in a relationship with someone, and so he might not be comfortable chatting with me”. But, I was not comfortable with that answer. The word ‘might’ is a probability. I was bent to find out.
I told myself “Hauwa, just this last time, and that’s it”. I messaged him. I mean, what could I have done? I liked him already, I guess. He’s the first on my mind when I wake up and the last when I go to bed.
“But he might just be like the rest,” I thought. ‘But I don’t think so,’ I thought again. It seemed awkward. You know, for someone you just met on the blue app.
To be continued…
Hauwa Jidita writes from Lagos State and can be reached via: [email protected]